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Viva Simplification!

December 22, 2009

Of late I find myself surprised that once our little chum is down to sleep (and he is now hanging in dreamland from between 7pm-4am at least 45% of the time which gives me some much needed mama mojo time) I’m tiptoeing around crafty blogs and websites teeming with perfect stitches, knitting projects and hip vintage patterns.

At first this troubled me. It took me back to a smoky night during the later half of my junior year of high school. More specifically, a booth in a romantically hipster coffee shop in Uptown Minneapolis. I was 16, smoking Camel Light cigarettes, and was often found driving a red Ford Tempo through Minnesotan suburbiascape dreaming of a life beyond strip malls and hockey games. My friend Cara was with me at this particular coffee shop and she indicated that my favorite skirt (I was ALL about the long flowing patchwork skirts from about circa 1996-2000) was perfect for little babes to play around on.

In fact, she mentioned casually, she pictured me with at least 3 0r 4 kiddos wrapped around my skirt in the future. In fact, she mentioned even more casually, I would probably be one of the first of our friends to have kids.

Ummm….I might have worn the hippie skirt but I was more thinking I’d be a published poet, an existentialist living in London, or a noble organic farmer eking out a living growing leeks and beets somewhere behind a cabin I built with my own hands while cohabiting  with a British literature college professor I’d be having a partnership with (definitely NOT marriage).Kids? 4? Like my mom? …..No.

So now I am 30. I am married. To a great guy who did get a PhD. In penguins, not British literature. I have one kid. I wasn’t the first of my high school friends to do so. I’d now like 3-4 kids. I have published some poems but am hardly “a published poet.” I live in the Hawaiian Islands and while I still like to wear black, have moved on from existentialism.

So why do I feel kind of weird about sewing, cooking, HOMEMAKING? I want to. I am choosing too. I nearly wet my pants the last week when my mom sent me a KitchenAid mixer as a graduation gift (handed in my M.A thesis early December).  A revolution can start with an apron, wooden spoon, barefoot in a kitchen with some fresh dough while a wee one literally tries to bite your ankles. Can’t it?  Of course it can. Never doubt that a passionate mama can make the world a better place, right Margaret Mead?

This magic little world of ours only spins so fast but we as a species don’t seem content with the speed setting. It’s like we’re trying to see how fast we can all go around and around and aroundandaroundandaroundandaround until finally, as with my son who is just discovering spinning…we get dizzy, fall down and don’t feel so good.

I’m ready to take part in this slow down revolution. Someday, and it feels like that some day isn’t too far away in the scheme of things, i’ll be getting ready to take that last breath. And when I do, I want that to be once goddamned intentioned breath. So if that one is so important. So should be this one. And this one. And this one. This moment is the moment that counts.

We have happily survived the nearly 6 hour flight and are spending the next 4 weeks in the Arizonan desert. It’s currently gray clouds with passing sprinkles but great to have my parents, son, siblings and our various partners together, the clan is growing!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 28, 2009 6:32 pm

    This moment truly is the one that counts. Your diligent pursuit of excellence (as shown in your MA) is a transferable skill, one that can also be applied to homemaking and child-rearing. Being a mother and wife is the most amazing adventure and one that will make the most of all your intelligence for the price of your focus.

  2. December 28, 2009 6:38 pm

    Thanks! I am feeling much the same way. Today the kitchen, tomorrow the community, maybe next Sunday…the world!

  3. Melissa permalink
    January 4, 2010 10:40 pm

    I LOVED this post! I feel the same. I thought I was going to be a hard nosed journalist…what? The other day I was wearing my apron (1950’s style courtesy of Nikki) which by the way I love. Baking all kinds of desserts for a dessert night I was hosting. Changing a diaper when the Orkin man knocked on my door. I grabbed my bare-butted babe and ran down the stairs to answer the door to a very shocked Orkin man… I am fully embacing this stay at home mommy business and loving every minute!

  4. January 6, 2010 4:59 pm


    I got a 1950’s style apron for Christmas too…with owls all over it. I totally dig it without shame 🙂

    Can’t wait to get the guys together this summer!

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