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She’s Off Her Rocker: Tip #2

November 12, 2010

“She’s Off Her Rocker” – the new Friday tradition here at Islamama! Want tips for successful parenting without the whole going batshit insane part? Then look elsewhere my friends.

It may seem counter intuitive, but your crazy might just be the sanest you’ve been all day. In my humble opinion, successful parenting ocassionally walks (shuffles) hand in hand with a more wild-eyed version of yourself…wearing spaghetti sauce for rouge and muttering “I’m forever blowing bubbles…pretty bubbles…”

Are you also a little off your rocker? Well then, wipe off your drool and leave a tip before you go, you just might help another Mama (or Daddy) out!

She’s Off Her Rocker: Tip #2

Caring For The Little Man Up Your Nose

Today I was all set to blog about poop. But alas, I received an email from a friend struggling with her temper and the question this awesome mama posed was too relevant for me to ignore. “What do you do on the days when you just can’t take one more little whiney comment, one more little sibling spat, one more little fake cry, one more sassy remark…?” Sibling spats notwithstanding, I get it. I’ve been there. All of us who’ve chosen the parenting path have…unless you built a cyborg child a la 80’s television sensation “Small Wonder.”

Here is my stab at an answer.

In 7th grade I was assigned to write an essay on who I was. As in, who is the real you? Most kids in my grade thought I was a cross between a leper and a social pariah. I knew I was really the future drummer for Metallica.

I decided to write about my drumming dreams from the perspective of the little man who lived in my nose…perhaps this highlights why I was lacking in the friend department? I pictured the essay would be a witty romp of a mischievous inner self. My teacher thought I needed a talk after class so I waited eagerly at my desk for her to confide in my secret brilliance.

What she really wanted to do was “check in.” That’s teacherspeak for wtf is wrong with you. After reassuring her I had no substance abuse problems or pressing psychological treatment she let me go catch the bus. I walked away burning up that she missed the real point. That on the inside I was ready to rock!

Upon getting home I fiercely scribbled my plan of becoming the “best damn drummer in the best damn band in the world.”  A literal quote from March 1992.I keep my junior high diary on my desk. Works better than Prozac for the bad day. Someone should tell the Scientologists.

So I think the answer to my friend’s question is that maybe  when you can’t take it, you’d better go take care of that little man up your nose who has awesome rhythm even if you really suck. Or inner child. Or kindly Yoda. Or hot chick with good shoes. Whatever you picture is fine.

Me? My little nose friend no longer drums but gets a kick these days by pretend shopping on ebay and etsy. Swimming laps. Buying a Vanity Fair. Flipping through a pretty cookbook imagining but not actually cooking the recipes. Watching a Netflix movie. Listening to The Moth podcasts. Writing this blog. Writing at all. Taking a shower that has no kids in it. Brushing the thousands of tangles out of my hair. Concocting scathing letters to the editor in my head on various political matters but rarely sending them. Reading a book after everyone in the house has fallen asleep.

It sounds easy but it’s hard. Really f-ing hard. Because we all have stuff to do. And lots of it. We’re generally getting buried alive under a mountain of stuff. But if we don’t take that bit of time just for ourselves every single day (even if it has to happen at 5am , on a lunch break, or at a bleary 11pm) we will snap in epic and inglorious ways. And really regret it.

Plus, isn’t it a good example for our kids to see us take a moment for ourselves? To teach from the get go that it’s necessary to give self-care in order to care for others.

Why yes. I did actually just blog about nurturing your inner child.

And I’ve been fretting about moving to California. Dude, I am so in.


All this talk about people up noses made me realize I have a disturbing amount of personal pics mugging with a finger up my nostril. Hmmmm classy much? Anyway this was probably the one with the prettiest backdrop. From El Chalten, Argentina back when all I did was take care of little ol' me, me, me!

One Comment leave one →
  1. khall permalink
    November 14, 2010 3:20 pm

    The little man up my nose took a beating when I was 19 and the front tire fell off my bike while cruising down Paddy Canyon in Msla, Broke the little man’s house and had to re break it to “fix” it. I suppose I have let him lie in neglect ever since. Thanks for reminding me to reach on in there and get that perspective again.

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